Leadership Lessons

On Monday I taught a breakout session at the Vous Conference in Miami. Here are the notes from my session on leadership.

1 Samuel 17:31-51
While others saw an impossible task in front of them, David saw an opportunity for God’s power to be on full display.

Leaders see the “impossible” as an opportunity for God’s power to be revealed.

1 Samuel 17:32-37

2 Perspectives

1. Saul – God sends him someone to defeat his giant. God often answers our prayers by sending someone to help us.
2. David – David’s decision to go after the lion and bear prepared him for bigger challenges. David went after the lion and bear.

Leaders respond with action even when it’s scary.

Many things come our way that either ignite fear and no action, or those things trigger us to effectively do something about it. How we handle those things, often determines how God will use us in the future.

Fears are learned, so we must unlearn them.

Leaders approach situations not confident in themselves, but completely confident in God. “The Lord delivered me…”

David did not allow the lion or bear to define him. Let’s not allow challenges to define us.

1 Samuel 17:38-40

David approaches the situation the only way he knows how, with the gift that God has given him.

David never used a sword or wore armor. He was going to defeat the giant the same way he defeated prior challenges.

Leaders know who they are and equally as important, know who they are not.

God desires leaders to overcome challenges by being who God created them to be.

David’s weapon was a sling shot. Know your weapon.

1 Samuel 17:41-47

David is not using God as a means to an end. The story is about David’s approach to God when faced with a challenge. This is about David not allowing the giant to define him, but allowing God to define him.

Matthew 16:25 – For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

It’s by becoming nothing that we become something.

Leaders are more concerned about God’s glory, than their own glory.

What should our approach be to God when faced with challenges?

Luke 18:15-17

We approach God like a child. We feel the weight of our desperation to be saved, protected, and defined by God.

Leaders are completely dependent on God.

1 Samuel 17:48-51

A defining moment for David did not define him. He was not defined by what he did, but who he was and whose he was.

Leaders are defined not by what they do, but who and whose they are.
David is described as a man after God’s own heart.

If you’re defined by what you do, who are you when you aren’t doing that?

Coach Hanson

My college coach and basketball program is going to be featured on ESPN this weekend. Be sure to tune in on Saturday, March 12th at 10 am CST for the College Gameday broadcast. Coach Hanson has accumulated over 700 wins - all at Central Bible College. In addition, Coach Hanson has more wins than Roy Williams at UNC, Rick Pitino at Louisville, Bob Huggins at West Virginia, and Gary Williams at Maryland. His legacy, however, does not just include wins and 3 national championships (perhaps a 4th this year), but the fact that an overwhelming percentage of his players have gone on to serve the Lord as missionaries, pastors, and ministers all over the world.

Here's a teaser of the broadcast to be aired this weekend.

5 Reasons Young Adults Leave Church

1. We tell Young Adults what they should think

Young adults need to think through difficult issues, not be spoon fed the answers. If you want young adults to flee your church, I encourage you to not allow them to process their feelings, but to rather tell them exactly how they should think and feel about what concerns them. If you really want them to never come back, let them know that how they feel is wrong and unbiblical. You may even want to throw an out of context Bible verse at them…they really hate that.

2. We are unprepared to handle deep theological discussions

Young adults are often interested in discussing the complexities of our faith, especially those who have at least a bit of a background in church. They are hungry for spiritual transformation, not behavioral modification. The church needs to move away from just talking through concrete and behavioral issues and move toward abstract issues in Scripture. Instead of challenging the way they behave, we must challenge the way they think. They really want to know why many of their friends who have "behaved" correctly still suffer. Or why their heads are full of rules, but no real relationship with God. If we leave them in this place of confusing, they will disconnect from the church.

3. We have an agenda

One of the best ways to get young adults out of your church is to meet with them while having an agenda. Young adults are very perceptive so you don’t even need to be obvious about this. If the only time we call that great 23 year old guitar player is to ask him to play on the worship team Sunday morning, we have an agenda. Young adults are talented, creative, and can be hard workers. However, if we only see them for they can do for the church, we have an agenda. We must get to know them for who they are, not just what they can do.

4. We are dishonest

Young adults place a high value on honesty and bluntness. They will know you love them when you can gracefully be straight forward and honest with them. If you want to completely fail with young adults, I strongly encourage you to be unwilling to have difficult and honest conversations with them. They need and want someone to be straight forward with them about their spiritual journey. If you are reluctant to go down that road with them in a loving, yet confrontational way, they will feel unchallenged and unloved.

5. We are uneducated and disinterested about social issues

Young adults want to make a difference in this world and want to make a difference now. They know about the pain and suffering taking place in this world and truly believe that they can do something about it. If your church is doing nothing about poverty, human trafficking, orphans, widows, and other social issues…your church is completely irrelevant. A young adult couldn’t care less about a church that doesn’t care. While you complain about young adults leaving, they are giving their time to help restore the broken things in this world.

Your Will Be Done...

Matthew 6:9-10 reads, “This, then, is how your should pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”(NIV)

Prayer can be one of the most beautiful, frustrating, and perplexing things imaginable. So often we hear stories of when God came through like a knight in shining armor to save the day by providing someone with a financial miracle, physical healing, or renewed relationship. When the church hears about these miracles they are quick to display "God Answers Knee Mail" on the church marquee for everyone to see. Probably well intended because these stories do offer us hope and are instrumental for our faith. However, I would suggest, more often we pray for God to do something with our finances, health, and relationships, but feel like nothing happens. We believe that God is the source of everything we need, but we wonder where He is when we truly need something from Him. I mean certainly it is not God’s will for us to struggle financially, suffer physically, or to endure relational hardships. Or is it?

We have probably all evaluated our prayer life at one time or another asking ourselves, “Am I doing this right?” It is safe to say that the disciples were asking themselves the same question because they asked Jesus to teach them how to pray. Jesus responds with a big, mature, pinnacle, varsity level prayer and then says pray like this.

When we pray “your will be done” what are we praying for?

It is a scary prayer because when truly communicated from the heart, it puts God completely in the center instead of us. It is not a prayer for God to make our dreams come true or for God to bless us, but it is a prayer that positions us in a way that when things do not go our way, it is okay because God is in the center of it all. This is not a prayer for a hedge of protection, or a million dollars, but one that requires complete trust and surrender in God.

The cry of our heart is not for a certain thing, but in the thing which causes our heart to cry out, God is magnified and our desire is for His will to be done. It is not just a five minute prayer in the morning when we wake up that we can cross off of our to-do list. It is a prayer that commits our entire day, month, year, and life to God and His will. It is a prayer that places God at the center of our job, relationships, family, finances, and future. It is a beautiful prayer and one that is completely God-centered and selfless.

How do we pray for God’s will?

Luke 11:9-10 reads, “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”(NIV)

With God at the center, we persistently ask, seek, and knock for His will to be done.

Ask - We ask for God’s will to be done in our relationships, job, life, education, family, etc. We ask God for healing, restoration, and provision.

Seek - Asking is sometimes the easy part. I have been guilty of saying, “I hate this about me, take this away from me Lord,” but then I do nothing about it. Sometimes the answer to our prayer is for us to do something about it. If we ask God to help us financially while spending money on clothes we do not need, food that is not good for us, and entertainment that does not bring glory to Him, we are telling God that we do not want His help. When we ask, but do nothing, we are not praying for God’s will to be done. Seek out advice, wisdom, and personal responsibility.

Knock (wait patiently) - When we knock we are in essence waiting for a response, waiting for some sort of answer. This is the hardest part of this prayer. It is often easy to trust God’s power, but not easy to trust His timing. It is tempting during this process to make things happen on our own, but it is encouraging to know that through the waiting process true spiritual transformation happens. It is in the knocking stage when we can evaluate our lives and discover if God is in the center or if we are.

Are you praying for God’s will to be done? Remember, it is not an easy prayer and one that requires complete trust and surrender in God.

Small Group Culture

"I believe that the theological recovery of this idea of 'the church of the house' is one of the most important tasks of our generation. Whereas the organization is an optional extra...the cellular structure of the church will be rediscovered as a necessity of its life..." - John A. T. Robinson, in On Being the Church in the World

Most likely, you have some sort of structure at your church for small groups. This could be a traditional Sunday school class, mid-week home group, or Sunday evening life group. While venues differ, the overall purpose of small groups seem to be the same…developing relationships and encouraging community. In my two years as the National Young Adult Ministries Coordinator, I cannot recall a growing ministry that does not encourage small groups.

In the early “house churches” described by Paul in Romans 16, relationship and community were almost always established in someone’s house (typically over a meal). During the first two centuries of the Christian movement, church buildings did not exist so it was necessary for people to meet in homes. It was under the “house church” format that the early church grew so rapidly. It’s safe to say that it’s no coincidence that we are seeing similar “success” all over the world of those who use small groups as their primary method for developing relational connection. It's also no wonder why church growth is so significant where small groups are so evident.

The “G12” life group approach in Colombia has grown from 600 small groups to well over 50,000 in 5 years. In Cuba, where church construction is forbidden, the Assemblies of God church has grown from 9,000 to over 500,000 in 20 years and has well over 3,000 house churches. Dr. Yonggi Cho pastors the largest church in the world in Seoul, Korea. However, because the church is built on the home group model, he describes it as both the largest and the smallest church in the world. In addition, the Hosanna World Outreach Centre in New Zealand is not only the fastest growing church in New Zealand, but also the youngest demographically and is organized specifically through small groups. Their pastor Josh Avia lays out their effectiveness with this simple statement, “We are a cell church where everybody does everything.”

Small groups where all members participate equally and as directly as possible are being proven to be more effective for life transformation then large gatherings. We often think of small groups as being part of the church, however, the New Testament church was a small group. In other words, instead of having our small groups serve the Sunday morning service, the Sunday morning service should serve our small groups.

What Does a Healthy Small Group Look Like?

There is currently a huge emphasis on leadership in church culture. While leadership in the church is extremely important as Paul does address in his letters, the overarching theme and emphasis of his letters to the church is for all members, not just those called to be leaders. Paul expects “ordinary” church members to be mature enough to sort out their own relational issues and gives plenty of guidelines to do so. The goal is authentic community with every believer, no matter what their spiritual gift may be. Paul continuously emphasizes shared responsibility as being true community. Every person is to serve with their gifts to build up believers and to advance the kingdom of God.

I find Paul’s letter to the Ephesians as being a significant tool when figuring out the purpose of small groups (the church). Almost the entire letter is dedicated to instructing the church in God’s purpose. Perhaps the most valuable passage of scripture in determining a metric for small groups is found in Ephesians 4:11-13, 16 –
It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

A small group should be…
Preparing all people for works of service – corporately and individually
Promoting unity in faith and knowledge of God – prayer, doctrine, theology
Producing spiritual maturity – transparency, confession, repentance
Progressing in love – loving God and loving our neighbor

How Does This Happen?

An effective functioning small group does not filter down through leadership, but comes through the supporting ligaments. The body is held together by people doing what they are gifted to do. It’s mainly through the interaction of every person that the Holy Spirit can truly become evident. This structure is so vital for today’s generation of young adults and it’s so important for the leader to recognize and pull the gifts and abilities out of people. Young adults don’t need an authority figure to access information, but they are interested in authority figures who can help them identify gifts which can produce restoration. In other words, healthy small groups are less about talking and more about doing and being.

Here are few things you can either begin or continue doing…

Get your small group involved in community service. Once you involve yourself in something corporately, you will be more apt to begin participating in works of service individually. Eventually, it will become less of an event and more of a lifestyle. Your goal should go from doing a service from being a service.

Attempt to get your small group unified doctrinally. Sometimes we assume that disagreeing about something means that we are not unified, however, some disagreement is healthy. Ultimately, focus more on how you live out the scriptures and less about how you exegete the scriptures. We can certainly find some common ground regarding the core foundations of grace, forgiveness, repentance, and prayer.

Model genuine repentance. Young adults are sometimes too authentic (if there is such a thing). It’s important for leaders to demonstrate how transparency can be managed in a healthy way. Be open about sin and repentance, however, don’t fall into the trap of glamorizing sin. The goal is spiritual maturity, not a misguided message of grace.

Commit to being a small group that is identified by your love for God and each other. Others should be jealous of the way your small group loves. Consistently communicate and demonstrate love. Love doesn’t mean never hurting someone’s feelings. Love is accountability and many things will need to be addressed. For example, gossip and slander should not be tolerated.

In can be difficult to facilitate a small group and to manage young adults through the complexities of life. I encourage you, however, to experiment with something. It's better to try something than to do nothing. When something is an experiment, you cannot fail.